"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." ~Goethe~

05 February 2010

Pep in my step...

It seems like its been a long few days.

I woke up on Wednesday and felt like I had just run over a huge speed bump in the road.

It hit me that when I woke up that it was what would have been my Dad's 68th birthday. Not that I could ever forget that Feb. 3rd is his day. So long story short, it took all I had in me just to get through the day. And what made it worse is that we had the thickest fog and the grayest skies, all. day. long. I do have several of these kind of days throughout the year when thinking of my Dad. Most of the time when I think of him (which is every day still), it makes me very happy to be thinking of all the great times there were with him. Then every once in a while there will be a day that will sneak up on me and just knocks my feet out from under me and I get so overwhelmed about not having him to talk to, to hear his voice, or the realization that I won't ever see him again. Or that he has 5 grand babies and three of them he will never be able to hug. It's more than hard.

Somehow, later that evening, I found my self in my room, music playing, trying out a particular stitch in a different yarn to see how the stitch detail would look versus the white cotton and staring at a bowl of "Chocolate Brownie Thunder" in front of me, trying to feel better about things. I didn't feel bad about that ice cream one bit. I've been doing pretty darn good with the working out bit and somehow I just knew my Dad would have told me to have it also being that I deserved it.

So there it was, sitting in the bowl, waiting for me to take little nibbles in between a few stitches here and there. Eventually it turned into chocolate "soup" but I didn't care. It was chocolate for crying out loud and it was good.

Some how after all the yarn time, music, little peeps sharing space with me and yummy chocolate soup, I went to bed in a better mood. With the hopes that tomorrow would be a bit better also.
Things were a bit better when starting the next day. The days list got done, lessons completed, pumpkin cookies made and another fish hat started. The sky was still gray though.
I had to make this hat a wee bit bigger because of the big head that will be wearing it. (sorry Abe!) After this one there will be one more and then back to my list! I feel like such a project hog lately. If any one asks me to make anything for them, I look at them like "do I have too?". Good thing the fishes are quick.
After a quick trip to the local shop to pick up a few more new books for the girls lessons, there is a to do list being created for the weekend. I must say I was a little shocked to see a small 5 yr. old get so very excited about her new math book. I'm just glad she loves her lessons. And her love of reading is growing which makes all of this work worth it.

So anyhoo, this weekend I have plans to relax, ponder and "rejuice" myself as I remember what is really important in my life. My family and a simple life.

I'll be flipping through this magazine I got in the mail today while curled up next to two little ones reading their books
and pondering what to do with these great springy colors below after the fish hats. Oh the mind is spinning like crazy now with all the ideas floating around! I'm going to need another notebook at this rate. :)
At least the rain is moving out and the sun is trying to push its way through to show its bright, wonderful beams every where. Hopefully there will be some fabulous sunshine streaming through the windows upstairs for a few of us to enjoy while just doing stuff.

Here's to a calm, rest full, happy weekend!


  1. You know what, Kar, even though your Dad is no longer with you in body, it's great that you still have these fond memories of him to hold dear in your heart. I hope that you and your family will be able to share his love and his life with the little ones who don't know of his special hugs. Maybe through your stories and pictures and the love in your heart, they too will get to know him. :-)

    Love your chocolate and your knitting projects!

    Have a lovely weekend!


  2. oh so sorry. he was so young! He sounds like he was a wonderful guy!!

    i am here with my stupid broken finger!

    i love that top picture! that is cool! you should enter it in a contest!

    i wanna get knitting with you. I cant find my sock needles. want to go get some with me? where can i get those silver ones that cost an arm and a leg?
    night kiddo!

  3. I'm sorry Kar. It's not easy losing a parent. I wish I lived close to you.
    Feel my (((((((HUG)))))))